I never thought that I would ever have to write these lines about Ülle which means that the hardest working perpetuum mobile has run out of the breath of life. Whoever met her knew that she was ALWAYS busy, always engaged with something or somebody, always in MOTION! That is how the Estonians in Toronto remember her. Here is a little example. My friend Kadri visited me in Toronto ten years ago and during that time we also went to the Estonian House. On Monday, the 12th of June, I sent her an email and informed her about Ülle’s passing. She replied with the following:

Was it Ülle who managed the Estonian House cafeteria? And who had big daily plans and multitasking lists for each day? I remember your stories about her and a couple of meetings, there in the Estonian house and 1x also at Tallinn airport. She delivered a package. She really doesn’t look that old and I am sad to hear that she left so soon. Ülle was probably such a person that because she was so active, that she was able to do a lot of things in life, but I can understand from your story that this news came unexpectedly.

Indeed, this devastating news came unexpectedly. I knew that she was sick, for a very short time, but I always knew that she can beat it. She reassured me, probably to spare me from worry since she always thought of others. But she didn’t recover – a week in the hospital and she was done! Everyone knows that she did things magically well, made hard things look easy, and with superhuman speed, so perhaps the quick way she left us is representative of how she lived life with force. She was a force to be reckoned with! I never thought that I will be so deeply affected by losing Ülle because I always thought she would always be here. We often kept in touch. I have a habit of staying up late and taking late-night walks and that was the time I used to text her. It already started in the early years when I got to know her. I would send her a few lines and she would reply and then say, I will continue sleeping. I was hoping that she will turn off her phone, but she didn’t, so I always woke her up. I couldn’t keep myself from texting her. This is how I learned that she is always there for people. We often started our message threads and conversations with “Where are you?”, big organizers as we both are, it helped us to plan how to meet each other or get something done. No time for pleasantries – the location information that set the rest.

I considered Ülle my Canadian mother. Though she really cared, she didn’t smother, but she was always there. And that meant the whole world. This is what I am going to miss the most about her – her ability to be there, find time from her always busy schedule and help out. I am waiting for her messages or phone calls, keep looking out for her red Mazda and expect the impossible – that she will just appear. I admired and respected her and always wished her the best at her nerve-wracking job. It was always a joy to see her. And I was lucky to get to see her even without making any plans. Ülle has visited my dreams I would say most of all the people I know. I used to pass her by the Estonian House or her son’s condo building many times. I always shouted “Hei Ülle! Have a great day!” Now I dream of that moment happening once again.

Ülle had the biggest heart. This can be applied in so many ways. She opened herself to you and clarified that you are very welcome to stay. The doors of her cafe in the Estonian House were always open and so was the door of her home. I often dropped in unannounced in the morning at the cafe to say hi to them, collect the hugs and continue my route to work. I enjoyed the late-night visits to her home when Ülle and other kitchen ladies were cozy on the sofa in her living room while watching TV. She said you are always welcome, you know the door is open or you know where the key is.

I took this photo of Ülle during the first months after I got to know her. She sent it to her love, who was far away. He of course raved about the photo and called it exceptional. I must admit that this photo brings out the best of Ülle, as she was an exceptional person. A person anybody would be blessed to know, as she enriched everyone’s lives! Familiar or stranger, she always treated everybody with kindness and smiles.

I will never forget her kindness, attention, excellent memory, amazing sense of humour and organization solutions (in Estonian we call Ülle orgunnikuninganna) she was able to provide. Most of the time she was the one helping me out. Interestingly enough, the day Ülle passed, I received a payment for the bed frame Ülle helped me to transport 3 years ago, after purchasing. After handing it over to the new owners, I found out that she had passed. What was this about? I never meant it to be like this, Ülle. I am sorry.

Nothing makes me happier now than to know that Ülle knew how to live. No matter her packed schedule, responsibilities, five children and many grandchildren, she knew how to enjoy herself (as she called it in Estonian, mõnuleda). She loved dresses and dressing up overall. Ülle was known to change gowns during events. She had expensive taste in anything she loved – food, clothing, furniture etc. Ülle always found time to enjoy fancy restaurants, shop at the best stores, see Serena William play her last match, wear the most expensive dresses and travel – yes, you guessed right – first class!

I will always cherish the following message Ülle sent me this January after I forwarded her my New Year’s wishes: “Happy New Year to you as well. I am thinking of you every day. You beat me to it! Everything is the same. I am sleeping at the moment. Let’s speak some other time! Hugs!”.

I am glad I got to know so many wonderful people thanks to Ülle, in the kitchen or outside it. That is what she did – she brought people together. She wrapped herself around all hearts she came across and left us with all the beautiful memories of her to cherish for the rest of our lives.

Ülle, you deserve the rest, though you left us too soon!

Below is a gallery of pictures taken of Ülle from 2011 until 2022 in random order. It gives an overview of her work, colleagues, warm smile, great sense of humour, love for dresses and her natural way of posing for the camera. What can I say, camera loved Ülle! Love you always.